Tag: upsanddowns

Choose Consistency

It all starts by building healthy habits and shedding bad ones. However, it only works when we stay consistent.

When things get tough, and you feel backed into a corner. Choose consistency! The moment you break and bow down to fear is the same moment you change the foundation from which you’ve laid. Being consistent will keep the flow of energy and stability. You need everything to be aligned for things to work for you. What is this energy?

Manifestations, intentions, and goals are all achieved by a few things. There is a lot of energy, hard work, and determination to stay on the desired path. I have seen this very thing happen; it is so heartbreaking! It doesn’t have to be you; it won’t be me anymore. Faltering is not an option this time.

Pick the path, passion, or goal. Figure out what steps you need to achieve said goal. Push, bend, slide, jump and run towards that goal. Consider your emotions to be distractions. They are not real. All toxic energy and triggers will arise, but you must be consistent. With consistency, there will be no need to mute the devil.

I’m excited to grow and shine with you all! I love you and wish you all peace whenever you are. Whatever life has thrown at you. You got this!

to all my loves, stay strong

It’s tiring, I know! It hurts, I know.
It saddens me to see an entire race still fighting for simple human respect, fairness, and justice.
It’s depressing to live this truth, day in and day out, knowing this is the world/government we live in.
It’s complete and utter bull—-, I know.

No matter what I have to stay calm at this moment.
I have to breathe in and out while I ache for those still fighting for justice.
In a place that we know to be home, the supposed land of the free.

Free for SOME to get away with murder.
“Free” as long as white supremacy exists.
Free for SOME to go jogging.
For SOME to freely wear a hoody.
For SOME to feel safe at home in their place of rest.

To not know THAT same freedom is scary.
To see the problems and live in it, as a black person, even scarier.
No matter we have to get through this.
We are more than capable, our ancestors have blessed us with this.
This fight, this strength, all come from the work made to bring you here.

I am here for you…
Lean on me, lean on each other.
Stand strong together.
This is not the end!

Pushing through

That’s all I can really do.

Losing hope and positivity only affects me.

To move forward I must keep steady.

Move with that energy.

That’s all!

Anxiety and me.

The ups and downs no matter the importance growing up were so petty and/or ridiculous compared to what we face in the adult world. I have had some great teachers, role models, and family members supporting and guiding me to where I am today. But that doesn’t change the fact that I felt unprepared for this life of adulting.

A few months ago, face swollen and at the lowest of spirits, I could see the worry in every person around me. I couldn’t keep it together either. My eyes could barely open but they were blood red and I was quietly sobbing. I look younger than I am so I assumed I looked even younger wearing a thin hoodie, sweats, and shoes. The nurse seemed as if she was scared to ask questions. In the end, she just wanted to give me a hug. People do care. The doctor came in and was in shock. She has been my primary physician for a long time. At least 4 years and has recognized and helped a lot dealing with my health.

Anyway, without too much personal detail LIFE was stacking up on me. I was in and out of my doctor’s office. I was even hiding it from my boyfriend, he is a worrier and I was determined to handle it on my own. I later was lovingly reprimanded for it. From all directions, LIFE was trying it – well me. I never learned how to deal with this type of problem. Is there a class for this in school? Like HELLO!

With all the doctor visits I’ve learned that my serotonin level is low. Serotonin is key to our feelings of happiness and very important because it helps fight anxiety and depression. This means I could experience a sad depressed mood, low energy, negative thoughts, feel tense and irritable, crave sweets, and/or have a reduced interest in sex. It has taken a toll on me but I’m managing. Now I have a bit of knowledge and medication to help manage the symptoms. I will eventually need to see someone else if you know what I mean.

I know everyone is dealing with life. I just hope we all can be brave enough to get help. Help is what you make it – heck you can talk to your BFF right? Talking to someone usually helps. Even if it’s just for a little bit. Don’t feel like your alone, there are too many people in this world.

Until next time!

xoxo – oy