I love to see so many interracial couples, it makes me feel normal. Hah, not to say that I am not normal. I have shown interest in many ethnicities because, to me, it’s not about color. My current boyfriend is of European descent, he is quite a lovely character if I say so myself.
It’s upsetting to see and realize that their decision to date outside of their race has impacted and affected others. Interracial dating and /or marriage has been dated all the way back to 1952. If we weren’t the same species, I’d have some red flags and reservations but that isn’t the case. Love has nothing to do with race. But because love is blind and society feels entitled. However, here are questions and thoughts that may need to be addressed. In my opinion, these questions and thoughts come out rude and/or ignorant.
To assume one person has a fetish for a given race because he or she is in a relationship with someone of another ethnicity is blasphemy. I could ask if they have a fetish for [insert race] since they only date within their race? And maybe right away that doesn’t sound so rude? But before opening your ignorant irrelevant mouth maybe consider that this person’s choice Now, this isn’t to say that a fetish based on skin color isn’t a thing. I’m just saying it’s rude to assume or ask someone whom you may or may not know that type of thing. It’s almost like saying they are dating this one person wholly for their skin color.
Meeting online isn’t the only way to meet someone outside of your race. I’m not sure why that is a popular question to those dating interracially; it’s totally irrelevant. Meeting online has been a more frequent route to go overall because of the advanced technology over the past few years, free dating sites and the lack of time we have outside of work. Same race relationships start organically just like interracial relationships. To be completely honest my boyfriend and I met online. I think we can mutually say that we are not the type to meet strangers in public. At least with the online dating, you could narrow a few things down (depending on your determination lol)
It’s always going to be nerve-racking when meeting the parents of your significant other. Always trying to make sure everyone is happy and comfortable (hoping all goes well). In this case, hoping that they accept I am not of their race. With my current boyfriend, it was known that he had a preference outside of his race when he started to show interest in women. We won’t get too much into his private life though. The best advice for someone in this position would be:
- know your own parents, nothing should be a surprise.
- Over-communicate what is necessary, if necessary.
- Inform them of any known cultural differences, religions, food preferences or allergies.
- If you have to meet in neutral territory and prepare your significant other for all outcomes.
These few things could also help when both parents meet. When I first started dating my parents, were in a way shocked, as I never really expressed interest in dating before. I started dating my senior year of high school (pretty late in comparison to my sisters), I was a late bloomer. My first real boyfriend from the senior year was of Chinese descent, my parents weren’t too surprised really. I remember my mother telling me “She knows me better than I know myself and she assumed I would date out of my race simply because of the person I grew up to be. She claimed as long as I was happy and healthy she too would be happy. My extended family seemed a little shocked a little but always welcomed all “suitors” with open arms. The only problem I ever faced was just cultural differences and misunderstandings. Oh and his side of the family, but we also won’t really get into that. Sorry! 🙂
Do not, I repeat do not worry about the identity of your kids. Not that it doesn’t matter but that seriously shouldn’t even be a thing. We made race what it is today, stop making it more than what it is. Why do we have so many things labeling us? It’s quite silly to be on edge about these types of labels. We already have enough issues with racism and prejudices everywhere, mixed kids already have identity issues but that’s not something a parent or guardian can’t resolve over time. It’s best to address it early on so that it’s built in them to know how to handle possible bullies and close-minded individuals. It could even help them learn how to address and respond to such behavior without feeling threatened, offended or result in violence.
So as we wrap this up, here are a few questions and comments I thought should be avoided in general (This list includes, but is not limited to, the following things to say to someone in an interracial relationship):
- “Are you only interested in [insert race] people?”
- “You are so brave!”
- “You are better than me, I can’t do that.”
- “Mixed kids are soo cute!”
- “You’ve gotta get me one of those!”
- “I’ve dated an [insert race] person before.”
- “Once you go black you never go back.” This one sounds more like the mythical rhyme “step on a crack – well, we know how”
Saying it’s easier to date within your own race is garbage. Skin color has nothing to do with the amount of work in general needed to maintain a relationship. Think about the differences in culture, religion, childhood – everything other cultures see that two people have to balance. Talk about compromise! I commend every interracial couple out there just for the differences they have faced in their relationship. It’s hard work. Period.
I hope that we can all respect the odd couple in the room. Remember they are odd because it is unfamiliar, not abnormal. The love we/they share is familiar to most and we don’t see color. Have a lovely rest of the day!