Dating over the past years, I can say that I have learned a decent amount about men. But I’ve mostly learned a lot about myself, including my shortcomings. I’m also the type of person to overthink and dwell on things, which isn’t very helpful. Let’s face it, relationships are not easy and sometimes it feels easier to give up. But regardless how you feel, who is to say the problem didn’t start with you?
“In finding love, I think it’s important to be patient. In being in a relationship, I think it’s important, to be honest, to communicate, to respect and trust, and to strive to give more than you take.”
– Kina Grannis
Relationships are hard work, it’s like another job really. Finding that person to “work” with [hopefully for the rest of their life] should have its ups and downs, time and effort. Sometimes there will be more give than taking and vice versa, but even that is subjective. Everyone thinks differently, has their own past, issues, habits and communication skills (whether an abundance or lacking). For me, the right person needs to qualify for the following: best friend, lover, spouse and most importantly a parent. Relationships play a big role in our health and well-being.
Love is a universal feeling, which is felt by every living being on this earth. Love isn’t only connecting with another human being, it is a path to self-discovery and it can be many more things. To keep it simple, at the end of the day, it takes two! I won’t get into everything but here are some tips to improve any relationship:
1. Do things you would normally do when you first meet. Don’t go out of your way to act a certain way to change what makes you Yourself. If you start with being yourself there should be less to worry about long-term.
2. Become an expert on your partner. Take the time to understand how they think, their pet peeves, expectations, needs and etc. The more you know the better!
3. Create a weekly ritual or tradition. Why not? It’s fun and every week you get to look forward to a new experience. It also creates a blocked off time for you two to have together time for those that are super busy.
4. Be creative. Maybe stop doing the same thing, all the time. Either call it tradition or change it up. You can ask or just surprise the one you love! Be logical though randomly know this person best right!
5. Try to understand not agree.
6. Don’t let your differences or past limit your future.
7. Work on communication skills. This is the biggest problem I have. I think I am comfortable speaking my mind and communicating an idea. But put me in front of someone I love and I choke, for the most part. It’s always a drawn-out conversation leading up to the climax. My poor patient, loving and understanding boyfriend. This also stems from past communication issues that we may talk about later 😉
8.Compromise, Appreciate each other.
9. Break negative cycles, stop nagging.
10. Focus on what you can control. If you cant change something yourself, don’t dwell in it. There are many other things you can be doing for yourself.
11. Sharing your issues with friends and family isn’t necessary. First I want to say, not everyone needs to know about your relationship. When you do allow so many opinions and advice, trust in yourself to filter through the madness. Some people will tell you what you want to hear or something easy versus resolving the issue. Just take the extra time and thought to come to your own conclusion.
My current relationship has a few things that I have to backlog as well as recognize. We come from different places/cultures, upbringings, social status, and religion. There are so many things to learn from, of the three, culture could be the hardest in my opinion. If something is hard don’t just give up, everything is hard work. And if you didn’t know, now you know 🙂
“A relationship is work, and it changes. And you go with the changes. It’s more good times than bad times, but it’s not always good. You have to overcome those issues and move on.”
– David Burtka
May you love unconditionally, compromise when possible and always communicate to those you love most.